In Times Of Difficulty

It was March 2011. SPM results just came out. It wasn’t the best result. Well, not in my opinion though. =) At first I thought I did pretty well because I didn’t study for certain subject but I was still able to obtain a credit for it. I was excited for college and excited to pursue my dream of being a Psychologist. (The story of me deciding to be a Psychologist will be kept for another day.)

But I didn’t know that college would cost me a fortune! It cost at least 75THOUSAND RINGGIT to pursue a degree locally that’s not inclusive of food and lodging if your studying outstation. At that particular moment I was facing financial difficulty. I always take it for granted that education would always be made available to me and I should not worry about it. Considering studying from primary till secondary school didn’t cost much. I expect the least expected about going to college.

My mom told me to go for Form6, but I knew that going for Form 6 will not achieve my dream because I won’t be studying anything related to the field I’m interested in. I really wanted to give up at that moment. I felt abandon and lost. I was at the cross line of giving up and be a total bum to society or I could still make a difference in my life. I took the biggest leap of faith in my life when I go against my mother’s advice and decided to search and deepen my faith.

For 6 months I was involved with multiple church camp and activities from attending them until organising one. I guess the main reason I was involve so much with the church for this 6 months was because I wanted to discover God’s plan for me and to confirm if Psychology is the career choice for me. Considering the amount of advice I get from my family members and public about the job opportunities and income. I still knew deep down that I was making the right choice in my life so far. I do admit, in this time of trial, my life was not all sunshine and rainbow. I did question. ‘Why was I not able to go college?’ and ‘Life is unfair’.

But no matter how much I felt God has taken away from me, He will always be there for me. To comfort me, not in His physical presence but through His disciple/ followers. A very close and good friend of my comforted me when I was in tears thinking of my future. He said

‘It’s now how fast you finish your degree, but how much you gain from it.’

‘When you go through difficulty, you’ll learn more. You’ll have more questions to ask.’

It might sound weird but these words inspired me to carry on and persevere. Psychology is not a subject you can merely study, but you need to experience certain difficulty to understand certain problem.

One day my brother called me and asked how I was feeling. He was actually trying to direct the question of me not being able to go to college. But he doesn’t know how to. =)

I remain calm and cool and said,

‘I’m just really disappointed. I feel that everyone deserve a chance to prove themselves. But unfortunately I wasn’t given that opportunity.’

He replied me with a story of his own difficulty trying to achieve his dream.

‘I wanted to study medicine, not because of the title I get or being glamourous. It was because I didn’t want to be like those doctors that made Papa died. I want to serve the poor and not only the rich because every human deserve equal treatment in terms of healthcare.’

‘I wanted to be a doctor but it’s just too expensive, I screwed up Form 6 and the government offered me marine biology. I was about to take the offer.’

Until Mummy stop me. ‘Saying that we have enough money for your first sem.’

He replied ‘What about the other sem? Where are we going to find the money’

My mom replied ‘Let’s cross the bridge and see what happens next.’

True enough, God never fail to provide the financial security when my brother needed it the most, and now he is a doctor in Sabah serving the indigenous community.

‘If it is really God’s will for you to be a Psychologist, do not worry. Because He will never abandon you with no direction in life. He has a plan for you.’

Honestly, in my heart I said,

‘Yea its easy for you to say so considering you’ve already archive your dream’

But I just took his advice and continued with my life. Until one fine day, my mom called me and said

‘Jameson, you can go college’

I was immediately filled with tears. That was the best sentence I’ve heard for the entire year of 2011. I was overjoyed and I cried.

Finally God answered my pray.

Finally now I’m in college. I’m not saying that college is easy, but I’m coping well with my studies even though I’m not the studious type. But I know how hard is it to live a life doing something that you’re not meant to do. I’m only given one chance, if I screw this up. That’s the end of my college life.

So to those who was not so satisfied or even fill like giving up on studying, let me tell you that. If you give up, you will be forever a loser, but if you peservere and give you’re very best. You will SUCCEED!

Don’t just dream, make it a reality.

Wondering if that dream of yours is the right one?  You’ll just know. You can feel it and make sure you pray about it. I was praying about Psychology for about a year and finally I go the answer. =)

Don’t give up on your dream in pursuit of another person dream. In other words, don’t chase your parents, friends, or relative dreams. We all have our own dream. So chase after it. Opportunity only comes once in a life time. Don’t let it slip through your grasp.

Everything will be perfect in His time. We might not see the bigger picture now, but He's the one who paints the picture. God knows whats best for your even though you might agree with it.

Lastly I would like to thank those people who kept encourage and support me throughtout my times of difficulty. Without you guys I don't think I would be able to be where I am now. Thank you and God bless <3

Is Love = Sex?

Is love sex?  Well yes and no. From a married couple point of view, yes it is. When God created us, He said ‘be fruitful and multiply.” Genesis 35:11. So that was God’s plan for us. For He loves us so much, He wants to see us multiply, multiply in His grace.


Sex is an expression of love and commitment of a MARRIED couple. If you’re just an 18 years old kid, don’t even think of it. Sex is not mere pleasure. When you have sex, your body makes a commitment to each other. That commitment means you will be there for her through happy and sad times.


If you say that, you think that you’re up to it, and then let me ask you a question. What if she gets PREGNANT? Other related question pops up. Are you up for it? Are you ready to sustain two more lives? Are you financially dependable? Are you matured enough to take care of the girl you’ve just made pregnant and what about the baby? If you’re answer is NO, then I shall advise you to think twice before you indulge in pre-marital sex.


Don’t get me wrong, sex is not wrong; it’s pre-marital sex that is wrong. In fact sex is sacred and holy in union of two married couples. It only becomes wrong when you indulge in sex without commitment, which is pre-marital sex.


The question of contraception arises. ‘What if I practice safe sex?’ If safe sex is acceptable, the sex has lost its value and holiness. Using contraception is another way of telling a person, ‘I want to use you, with no strings attached.’ Ladies, if a man wants to have sex to you using contraception, then he does not love you at all. He’s just using you. Don’t be fooled by his words or his actions, because words are merely words.


To give you a great example of love are the love our Lord Jesus Christ gives to us. If you’ve read your bible then you’ll know what I mean. Jesus seems to speak really beautiful English. That’s true too. But Jesus didn’t merely said words to comfort us, He does what He says. He came down on earth to fulfil His Father’s command. He came down to fulfil His prophecy. His action speaks louder than words. That’s true love. When you come down as a king, lead a sinless life, and die a saviour for our sins. That’s love. 


Until and unless your partner shows you that much of  love and affection, his not ready for a commitment. That kind of commitment can only be shown through MARRIAGE. When a couple takes their vows in front of the priest, they promise each other the commitment they have with each other, that they’ll be there for happy and sad times, no mountain too high they can’t reach, of storm too big they can’t overcome. My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, do not be confuse with the meaning of love. Don’t be fooled by it too, for there will be a lot predators out there prowling the earth seeking the ruins of souls.

Every action has its consequences, you need to bear with it and be responsibl. Don’t run away like a coward.

Berani Buat, Berani Tangguh.

The Wonder Of Prayer

Have you ever felt that God was turning a deaf ear towards your prayer?

Like as though God is somewhere else when you need Him the most?

How many of us continue having faith when things don't go our way.

Some of us gives up and lose hope when things turn bad

And some of us says that we have faith that God has plans for us in our lives. But do we really believe that God has a plan for us? Or are you merely saying it to comfort ourselves? The reason I'm writing the blog post is because I want to testify the wonders God have done in my life for the past 3 months. 
Have you ever felt that God have abandon you? Like He was guiding you all this while and He just let go off your hand? Leaving you stranded and lost? Well I did. I was so down until i said "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me." I never thought I would ever reach to that point in my life. That was because all this while I was spiritually high and I believe in the wonders God has done in my life. I was really down, sad and disappointed because many things have not gone the way I wanted it to be. For the past 3 months i kept complaining to God asking why are all these happening to me. It was really disappointing to see all my friends in college while i'm stuck in the limbo. Uncertain of my future, Uncertain of myself. Uncertain of God. But although all of that has happen, I knew God was somewhere, looking at me, testing my faith, testing me, how much do I believe in myself, and especially in God. So the least i could do at this moment, is to pray. I prayed and ask God constantly about my future, and what He wants from me. For 3 months I kept praying the same prayer. To my great surprise, God answered my prayers. Not one, not two, but many folds. My mom called me up while I was in JB and she told me that I will be able to go college next year, my brother helped me to buy a laptop, and important of them all,
I AM CLOSER TO GOD THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN!
You see, prayer need patience and sincerity.
I always knew God has a plan for me. He is putting me through this because He wants to test me and see how strong is my faith, and how much do I believe in my faith. To my surprise, it was really little.
So as long as you have faith in Him, He shall never forsake you. In fact He will never forsake you, it is you who is running from His endless blessings.
As long as you pray sincerely from your heart, and if its for a good cause, God will grant your prayers! Thats for sure! I can TESTIFY to that! =)
Thank you Lord Jesus, for always being there for me, and especially holding my hand again and again when I constantly let go of your hand. In future I'll know there will be times when God will test my faith again, and I will never ever lose hope, for I know He has great plans for me!


Thank you so much Lord Jesus...I love you

Hate the Sin, But Love the Sinner

Open My Eyes O Lord, I want to see You

In Hard Times

I told my very close friend, a mentor actually, that I SERIOUSLY NEED A JOB! I wasn't going to lay back and do nothing for the next year or two. I will die of starvation. I would really prefer my job to be church related. I wanted to grow spiritually and in life. Working life I mean. Then my prayers was answered when a very close friend told me that there was an opening in Counselling Ministry. It was like the ideal job. 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, flexible working hours and most importantly, THE COUNSELLING MINISTRY. I mean its really related to the course I'm going to take in future. FYI (its psychology). I mean, for all the jobs in the world, I got Counselling Ministry?! Well I know of course I won't be able to counsel people, but I'll be able to learn about counselling from the retreats and all. Not forgetting being able to journey with a priest. It was amazing, a dream come true. I had to take a bus to Johor Baru alone then sit a bus ride from Larkin to Plentong. It was a TWO HOURS, I repeat, TWO HOURS! Despite all of that I was so excited for the interview and meeting up the the priest, until the interview too place. I told everything I need to tell the priest, then he broke all my my spirit and enthusiasm by telling me he needs a Johorian, and also a retired man. I was so hard broken. All that effort and enthusiasm, all wash away. I felt God was closing all the doors on me. Everything I dream and wish for, it wasn't there. How can that be? God will always grant our deepest desires, but why didn't He grant my desires? I was so down. I kept thinking and thinking, then I realize that God does want to grant our deepest desire, and also He want whats best for us. We might think that our desire is the best for us, but then we must think again, WHO created us? WHO is the ALPHA and the OMEGA? None other then JESUS CHRIST? Who knows us best?

I know that God is closing all the doors on me now, but he'll open a window for me soon. I believe and trust Him that He will not abandon me for He loves me dearly and He want whats best for me. Don't you God? =)

God Closes A Door and Opens A Window Instead

~Peace out~

The End Is Near?

Have you heard about the end of  world on 21 May 2011?

Hmmm....as I know a few Christian Denomination who believes about this End Of The World agenda.

Well personally I never believe all these end of the world story.

Come on man! On the picture above it only state that "blow the trumpet...warn the people."

For me that verse speaks so much.

You want a more solid and concrete bible verse?

Matthew 24:36 

"However, NO ONE knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. ONLY the Father knows."

Haven't this verse speaks for itself?

Can you imagine Jesus face when He hears you talking about the end of the world?

Gotcha!

I'm actual dead tired now.

But somehow I feel that I need to write finish this post...

It's not that I do not believe the end of the world.

I do.

It's just that I don't believe it especially coming from a man.

As I said above that I do not believe the end of the world is today.

But the pass recent events make me want the world to end.

I shall not elaborate here because I have written on my other post.

I suddenly was looking forward for the end of the world.

I just can't all these pain and suffering on this earth.

I felt that I've done enough and I had it!

I was thinking,

O Come My Mighty Saviour....

In this picture I see myself as the fallen solider

I am so tired of everything.

Tired of falling and falling.

Tired off failing in my life.

Tired of trying to do good but fails tremendously

Just tired of everything.

I was saying to myself.

Take me Lord I had enough.

 Then my brother chat with me today.

Asking me what am I going to do with my future.

I wanted to tell him,

I'm going to die there is no point of thinking of future.
Until he told me about his story and how he overcame it.
I can't write it down here because its his story and I didn't ask him if I could write it here.
So to cut the story short.
If God really wants me to be a psychologist,
then eventually I will

Because He knows whats best for me.

To be honest,

even if the rumours are true, 

I not ready for the end of the world.

I mean there are still so many things to be done in my life.

So many things to experience and so many people yet to be met.

I want to see what my future hold for me.

Married life or Holy Orders.

Missionary or Millionaire 

There are still so many things yet to be discover.

To discover myself and my purpose in life.

And discover God's purpose and plans for me.

Oh ya,
this doesn't mean the world will not end.
I am waiting for my Mighty 2nd coming.
Which is Lord Jesus Christ.
The bible also state that the world shall not end in a flood in predicted by 2012.
But when the world is about to end,

But when the world is about to end,
We shall see the moon colour change to bloody red.
When you see that,
just get ready to welcome our Saviour.

This is a picture of the end of the world.

This is a comic version...lol

So live your life now worth to promises of Christ,
repent and accept Christ.

~Peace out~ <3